So today is the last day of the first semester of second-year life. Though it didn't feel like I'd get a little break since my schedule was set even before my final exam started—visit the donor's cousin, driving license, saijou no meii translation, book fair and etc.—but at least today I could hang out with my friends again ! Teehee ..! We went to karaoke@Paragon and sang for 2 hours.. it's ..undescribable !! I'm so happy, I like singing—and love it when singing with my friends, eventhough s/he loves to pick difficult songs for me like "My heart will go on","Can't fight the moonlight", "I believe" and blah blah ..well ..maybe they just know me too much xD
After Karaoke we went to have a dinner at 'Orange' (4th floor, paragon) The price was slightly expensive,but still acceptable. The food tasted pretty good, the alcohol was, err.. well .. I shouldn't have been doing sth like that ,right ? 555 - -* oh well ..screw driver tasted great while martini was pretty bitter, and I found out later that they're pretty ..strong ..for me. I really did feel sth pressing my head to death after half an hour,and I had to be concentrate to stand or move properly. But one thing I had totally forgot was—I didn't sleep yesterday, and maybe hadn't had enough sleep for all of the week, so this seemed to be the main reason of the symptom. An hour later, I felt completely normal, and I learnt one thing—I have to be more careful about alcoholic intake from now on, even if it's just a small amout. My friend was worse, he DID throw up—though his cocktails seemed to be lighter than mine— maybe his body just rejected it? Whatever, it'll use quite a time for us to do that again, maybe even forever.. xD
'bout the test. I dunno why CVS became the easiest block for me while GI became the hardest. Come to think about it, I had already massed up this block in OSCE. I swear that, if there's someone who has to study this block in summer, I would be one of them. Is there a problem with the block I have to deal with on the last day of exam ? For midterm it was RS, and now GI ..and even Medical Ethics .. I wonder if Ethics has extra course in summer too ?? I'd probably have to join that one as well..
Maybe it's because I took CVS seriously since everyone said it's the hardest, so it became the block I had read most, understood most (well, only in comparison to other blocks, I still didn't understand many things about them .. I think I even miscalculated the cardiac axis in the test ;P)
This faculty really DOESN'T fit me, I love freedom. I hate spending time reading books for all days, treasure every minute like it is gold. I just wanna live a normal life, just hang around here and there, become alert when the date line of work is nearly reached, and stay all night doing the work I love without feeling tortured..
But in this world, no one's belonged only to himself. We're born, we have relationships, and we MADE relationships.
So I'm still standing here ..for the ones I love ..my family—especially my mom and my grandparents, my friends in high school and university. They want me to walk forward.. to never stop trying my best. But since they're not me—they do not see what were lining ahead.. but I do, and I'llgo on ..eventhough I know that there will be only a cliff waiting for me. If they're happy, I'll go.
In this world, no one's belonged only to himself.
But sometimes I wonder.. in this world, are there anyone—who completely doesn't belong to himself like me? Since I have already given up on all of my happiness and future, for the sake of my beloved's happiness..
If I had already tried my best,in the day I'm broken, no one would have blamed me,right ?
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